Tag Archive: wounded

Is Your Expectation Destroying You?

What is your expectation of your friend, co-worker, child or parents?  Expectation plays a big part in any relationship and can sometimes destroy them, if we are not careful. In any relationship, we expect, whether we aware are or not, we do. We expect a particular behavior from folks with whom we interact. It could be a colleague or even a child, and the interaction can be verbal or non-verbal.

What Happens When Our Expectation is not Met

We get disappointment when others do not meet our  expectations. And so I ask;

  1.  Is that fair to you or the other person?
  2. How open are you to embrace others when they show up (manifests) as who they are in the experience?
  3. Why do we get mad when people show up in their experience as themselves?

What If We are Open to Being Present

Now, let’s focus on being open, which requires us to Be Present in the experience, there will be no disappointment. In this space, we are not judgmental, and ego plays no part in the experience because we are consciously aware of being present. Having this backdrop, how open are you to children showing up with their scars and wounds in their experiences without any judgment? But simply an appreciation for the whole organic human showing up.

We Expect of Everyone

First, I’ll focus on kids. As a teacher or parent, how often are you open to a child when he/she manifests who they are? We get shocked because society says the child should behave in a particular way, or the school rules say the child should show up as “something” they can recognize. Children, like adults are humans with scars that they carry as well as  battle wounds. The problem is  we expectation our children to be  the standard norm.  How many of our children are that?  How many of our adults are the standard norm?

Second, let’s talk about grown-ups. As Broken or Wounded children we grow up into the said adults. We transfer the experience  into the adult space such as a job. See, its a vicious cycle and until we address the wounds we cannot think about a resolve for these humans.

No one would not try to have an in-depth conversation with a sick person. You would wait until that person heals before doing that. Same here. We must address the wounds and get them healed, and we must recognize that the scars represent the history of the human.  Be cognizant, Be aware and that’s a good start. Allow them to show up and be who they are right now. It’s OK.

Your thoughts? Leave me a comment.