Tag Archive: scars

Expectation can be Destructive

What is your expectation of your friend, co-worker, child or parents?  Expectation plays a big part in any relationship and can sometimes destroy them if we are not careful. In any relationship, we expect. Whether we aware are or not, we do. We expect a particular behavior from folks with whom we interact. It could be a colleague or even a child, and the interaction can be verbal or non-verbal. Disappointment comes when our expectation is not met. My questions to you are, Is that fair to you or the other person?  How open are you to embrace others when they show up (manifests) as who they are in the experience? Why do we get mad when people show up in their experience as themselves?

So, if we focus on being open, which requires us to Be Present in the experience, there will be no disappointment. In this space, we are not judgmental, and ego plays no part in the experience because we are consciously aware of being present.

Having this backdrop, how open are you to children showing up with their scars and wounds in their experiences without any judgment. But simply an appreciation for the whole organic human showing up.

First, I’ll focus on kids. As a teacher or parent, how often are you open to a child when he/she manifests who they are? Most of us get shocked because society says the child should behave in a particular way or there are rules at school that says the child should show up as something you can recognize. Children, like adults are humans that have been scarred and they carry their scars and battle wounds with them.  The problem with the expectation is that it was set for the standard norm and how many of our children are that?  How many of our adults are the standard norm?

Second, let’s go on to grown-ups. Broken or wounded children grow up into the said adults. Now the experience is transferred into the adult space such as a job. You see, its a vicious cycle and until we address the wounds we cannot think about a resolve for these humans.

You would not try to have an in-depth conversation with a sick person. You would wait until that person heals before doing that. Same here. We must address the wounds and get them healed, and we must recognize that the scars represent the history of the human.  Be cognizant, Be aware and that’s a good start.

Your thoughts? Leave me a comment.